Loud and Vexatious People

I would love to put some of the things I have running through my head but I just dont have the time at the moment and I really don't want to upset any of the folk I will upset by exposing them

Anyway I have been through the mill since my last regular postings

I got back from Thailand intially in June 2014 and despite being in a bit of a slow motion state from six months of intensive meditation was prompted by my brother to not be a burden and so I started looking for work.

When I say I started looking for work what I really mean is I started looking and trying to understand what had changed in the IT world since 2004 when I dissapeared off to Thailand

One of the obvious things that had moved ahead was the internet - I started to look at Network jobs and they looked plentiful so I plummed for a Cisco CNNA course self studied on line
Looking back I can see that James Michaelson ripped me off when selling me a group of videos on a USB stick - I cant rememebr exactly how much I had paid for it but as they say hindsight is a wonderful thing

I plought through it and got on pretty well but my traditional hunt for VB jobs was a difficult habit to break apart from the fact that they were far and few between the plethora of C# jobs that seemed to have taken VB's place. So no traditional VB 6 work and a number of .NET jobs ( another comment on that later)

So the start of my stay in the UK was not an easy one

Eventually I landed a job at just under 29K for a print company - I waded in and started cramming

The points and issues I learned deserve a post of their own so I will do just that tomorrow

34 days and counting

And so the process starts to bite – take hold and even though it is only 34 days it is making a difference

The run up was a little nerve racking – would I remember my lines would I be OK? but I now realise that it is basically a formality - as long as you are most the way there and are seen to be making an effort to get there then you will do fine.

So today it starts to sink in – my mind is beginning to slow to settle to “cool” - impercepterble to most but it is happening – I can feel it

The process of life is popping out at me in many places – the footbath full of tad poles, the water dripping after a light rain fall in the afternoon. Getting up before dawn and washing is becoming almost automatic – the phone broke but I find my self waking at the time the alarm was set and ease into going down and mindfully showering and shaving – feeling the water as its coldness awakens the body – and taking time to shave in the dark sound bath of the tropical outside bathrooms.

The first weeks were a little chaotic with 13 young boys going through their initiation – a buddhist boot camp for their summer holiday – These boys became wonderful teachers even though I didnt realise until a week or so ago.

The young lads impressed me with their eager enthusiasm to learn all the words for the morning and evening chants by heart and their ability to get it in one reading – or appearing to get it quickly – they soon bored and started horse playing which was no major suprise – I had expected this from boys so young but when one ot he elder lads started to show his cockyness and quite brutally punched a young boy maybe 4 or 6 years his junior in puplic I had to let rip - “come on you little shit- if you want to punch someone punch me” was what I wanted to say but unfortunately – or fortunately , my Thai wasn't up to scratch and I came over a lot cooler than I actually felt. This incident happened whilst we were in Phuket and I would have been a bit more calm about it if I hadn't witnessed him kicking another lad as he was trying to get to sleep.

So many distractions – The russian and his wife who ended up trying to sort out their relationship over the kitchen table and revolted when I passed on the concerns of a local woman who was worried by what she had heard the other local women saying … regarding this foregn monk talking to that foreign woman in the kitchen all the time – It ended up with him telling me (quite abruptly which was partly what the Thai woman had complained about) that I didnt follow the rules properly either, which I already knew: I held my tongue , “Dont shoot me I am only the messenger” faded into a hazy fog of thoughts about what I was doing myself, feeling relieved that I had come quite resolved to being a single celibate individual , here to concentrate on developing my meditation practice.

The seasoned monks brough in to train us all seemed so laid back – at first I thought this is going to go badly wrong but my concerns were misplaced and everything was managed with a cool calm reservation that is almost bizzare to observe – Phuket was a slight shock to the system in it seemed a little haphazThen a week after the Phuket trip the Burmese stupa was commisioned – hundreds of Burmese people and a dozen or so Burmese monks flocked to the new Chedai that was nearing completion – Again taken in its stride with little fuss or fluster – Boon did get a little disturbed having to run around with keys all the time but then I could understand this after 7 years as a novice he was preparing for his own full ordination and had to caretake while the abbot was away AND he has 10 kids to look after – as a 20 year old I have to admit I was impressed at his calm maturity in the matters even if I did think he was taking the easy way out with the bully. But this is one way the bully became a teacher for me – It is his loss his bad karma – why should I worry – he will get his wake up call when he is called on to prove himself as a man without having younger boys to take his frustrations out on, and the younger boys learnt to – dont antagonise him was the advice I ended up giving them there were lessons to be learn all round.

And so in the hubbub of all the Burmese I get my own first baptism – A visa run. Well Steve had said he was going to Penang and the Russian had told me he had been given the OK to go on a visa run in plain clothes. I thought about the option for a very short moment – not really an option for me I had come and was commited to being robed (this had been drilled in on day two when I put on some shorts to go and was and had been gently reprimanded for not wearing my sarong at all times)

I quickly decided that although a visa run to Penang would be easier and offer the option of a more secure two month Visa that maybe discretion would be the better part of valour and I should go to the Club Andaman Casino near Ranong on the Burmese border Island. Steve confirmed this as the best choice with the question “Will you be wearing robes in Penang?” - Yep I'll be wearing robes and carry a big placard saying foreign monk so the Malaysians would have an easy target to blow up

It is only when you get to test situations you do the research and I learnt that despite the lack of press coverage the number of deaths in HadYai and the southern provinces are suprisingly high due to the territorial disputes going on there.

I opted to go to Ranong and the tickets were arranged. 8:30 Lompraya to Chumphon where the 12:00 mini bus runs over to Club Andaman – a one hour turn around and back to Chumphon for 7:00 – leave the Fame Tours Bar at 9:00 to get the night boat to Koh Tao arriving at 5:00 in the morning – just intime to catch the local monk getting up. Plans were made and implemented.

I waited for the others to get back from bindibat and raided the food for what I thought would be enough to eat for the day – some baton-go sticky rice and bananas were huridly put in a bag and I rushed off for the Catamaran trip that stopped at Koh Tao but rushed on to Chumphon – I was taken up to the airconditioned VIP room but it was full of Japanese tourists and so had to sit on a shaded part of the deck. Monks have a strange social position in Thailand and it felt quite odd being out in the “real” world and being wai'd to and put in priviledged seat – I constantly reminded myself that it was the robes and what they represent that were being respected not the farang buffoon inside them. I still felt a little embarrased reading the signs saying no food and only food purchased on board to be eaten but the stewards walking by with hardly a glance alieviated my self consiousness to a level where I thought well the foreigners dont have a clue anyways so why worry about what they think.

The rendevous with the bus at Chumphon pier was fine and the trip was much more picturesque than I had expected – I made a mental note to wai to the two large Buddha images I saw en-route on the return trip and was surprised by how friendly if somewhat puzzled the immigration staff and boat staff at the andaman club pier were. I was called aside to be told and though I was going to get the usual immigration run around but was told that I could sort out a longer term visa at Samui – the bus driver even took the trouble to hand my passport to the female immigration officer that processed me on the way out. The wait at the pier was entertained by watching a Thai man dredging the mud sands that formed the shore – he seemed happy as a sandboy.

 At the andaman club I was a little dissapointd to get to the Burmese immigration to again have my passport handed to the young lady immigration officer and then be told I had been stamped out as awll as into Burmah and so had no need to go to the casino as I could catch the bus back. Never a big gambler I was a little sad not to get to see the actual Casino itself due to some unfinished business from 7 or 8 years back. So we wandered back to the boat pier after briefly watching the monkeys on the beach and waited. When we got back to Thailand the process was even easier and after being checked back in the bus driver helped me re-arrange my robes and then we headed back to Chumphon.

At Chumphon Fame Tours seemed slightly surprised – Well used to dealing with travel doped farang the receptionist seemed to be hesitant talking to this monk that happened to be farang who had wandered in to book a night boat. Not sure how to take payment she soon relaxed and brought me water to drink when I asked if I could sit and wait in the restaurant. A few cups of tea later and the mini bus took us to the pier and my air-conditioned bunk (surrounded by women).

Arrival in Koh Tao was at 5:00 am still dark I managed to walk to the local temple without being hassled by Taxi touts and the usual sales pressures. As I appoached the old monks kuti I stopped and hesitated – there was a light on but I didn't want to disturb him and I didnt know his moring rituals. I hesitated and spotted a chair with his alms bowl on it – though he doesnt use it as he can hardly walk , only managing a few steps with the aid of a zimmer frame. I cant of been standing there more than two or three seconds when his voice came out of his room - “Mr David... how are you?”, smiled there was no way of knowing how he could tell it was me out side... . I sat with him and enjoyed a breakfast and discussed some of the simpler issues with my circumstance regarding being in Thailand , Visa and my ordination – he wasnt surprised when my answer to his question, “how long you ordain?” was “I don't know, … all my life maybe” his response was “good,good,good”. After settling there a while he told me to go out to a tree near buy and pick up a windfall mango, I did as intracted only to be told to look on the roof too, the two mangoes looked quite unready to eat but he gathered together a bowl and a knife and instructed me to peel and de stone the fruit. It looked unready but I complied the flesh was quite hard and white – this is what I would expect to see sliced into strips in a papaya salad and I expected it to be quite tart to taste. I was surprised and that will always be one of my most memorable breakfasts till I die. A 9:00 walk to my lunch appointment was punctuated as I dropped in at the local police station – The main local police officer is on first name terms with me so I thought it polite to drop in and show my change in direction. When he saw me he smiled and said “really” - we chatted for half an hour and he ended up suggesting the old monks idea of me coming to stay on the island was a good one - “the farang dont understand buddha they just come and get drunk, many problem...” I paid my respects and promised to think about the idea and wandered on my way. I bumped into one or two people but and called into see a dive shop manager as promised but he was late so I ended up chatting with his boss for a while and then continued on only to be stopped and ordered to accept a lift from the local boat captain I knew as P'dong – where?? - I went to see his wife but she was occupied so I wandered down to the bowling mini golf and waited.

It felt a little strange being some where that had been a bit of a “safety stop” for me for quite a while.

My friendship with Steve the owner has grown over the years and I feel quite are ease and see the Hacienda as an escape from the stress and strife of living in Thailand – so it was odd to be here as a monk. I felt quite self conscious arriving but after washing up soon settled in, switched on the computer to catch up with my email and facebook and waited.

Tun soon turned up to cook my “lunch” and she seemed quite pleased to see me in robes. Lunch duly turned up and my first blessing was a little under standard – Tun said not to worry but in the back of my mind I hoped I wasn't going to be to blame for any bad events during the day or coming week.

Lunc had I wandered back down to Dive Point where Frank met me and after some tea and a chat he escorted me to the ferry where Sahat from Hin Wong seemed very happy with a big smile he took my ticket and said ooooooh.

The lomprayah back to Koh Phangan was un-eventful the VIP room was empty so I was escorted there – the taxi back to the temple had to wait and seemed a little appologetic for having to charge me full price but I was quite content – I had another 30 days and felt pleased to be back home.

So... what did I learn in one month – well it is difficult to say really – I have improved my sitting and meditation practice though I still have a long way to go until I can get into half lotus.

I have adapted to life in the temple relatively easily but find the novice boys a distraction – lesson learnt to be more tolerant and allow them to develop their own self discipline as this seems to be the way the monks encourage them to learn – whilst stopping some petty bullying I learnt to be less judgemental and to “mind my own business”, by that I mean to look at my own response and now relate with the underdog and get annoyed – dont get annoyed is the key point. Structure and lack of structure is another lesson. Going to Ranong was humbling and made me realise the people that Wai and bow and present offerings need to be respected – it isnt me but the robes and what they represent that is being praised – very humbling, and pressing the point that I have to live up to standard home even more.

And then

This has alll got a bit messy

never mind, I am just going to carry on where I feel it appropriate

January 2014 has been funny to date,

Alone on new years eve I went to a party on a bridge which was good :)

Then I woke up and went home.

A flurry of jobseeking around mid month followed by a yes but no at Rajapat

That was after the trip to Kanom - where nice folk were met and the following pic was snapped en route home

 Apart from this I reviewed m finances and decided my investments were dead in the water

I had a punt at going to the Philippines

Came across a great business idea (more on that later)

and went to temple for retreat :)  (more on that later too)

All is not what it seems

It started out like any other Sunday, I popped over to Alex's house in the village for a sociable afternoon. Well the usual banter about my drinking soda water came out,  I ignored it on the whole - I had two shots well watered with soda and thought nothing more.
Afternoon turned to night and eventually it was decided to try a few clubs

Lizm was its usual form that night - live band and our party were amused by me wandering up on stage giving the musicicians large draughts of wiskey as a sign of my appreciation. I had soda straight on the rocks!!!

I recall riding back to Alex's and Beth's to take the girls home - next thing I remember is being in hospital.

I have managed to piece some things back together since but I am not to sure how reliable this is.

I can remember my phone being broken - the only number I could remember was Pom's number for way back when she was in the clinic

At least she could tell them a little about me

I recall Pom turning up and nagging about how I couldnt live like this and how dissapoinnted she was with me for being drunk

I thought I could try explain but then realised she had already decided - Time would tell.

The next morning at about 6 pm I recall going to the OR and a mask being put on and drifting away into oblivion

I had no clue what was wrong with me other than I could hardly see (memories of Pom were all aural - non visual

I  came round and felt a little groggy - recall Mr Todd being there and May  - but thats another story

So the time in the hospital was relatively un eventful - I started to try some light excercise at the earlies opportunity

Just walking to start with - to the door of the ward at first - then one flight of stairs then 2 then 3.

Eventually I made it to the bike party down the road and the let me out. TBC

Be Careful What You Wish For

http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/brian_eno/and_then_so_clear.html

http://www.beatlesite.info/

I really wanted to go to the Surat Thani Bike Week but had already commited to go on a meditation retreat - that was untill a bike accident stopped it - so I get to do both with a clear conscience


:)

The heads are back!

These are some statues I saw on the way to School the other morning.

this is the non talking heads tour - Thailand seems to have a program of building massive bronze scultures of famous monks - they take the heads on tour for people to dab gold leaf onto as a contribution towards cost and to make merit - these are two heads on tour in Surat - I missed taking a piccy of the last one last october

I managed to look in the right place :)

So ! - Life is sweet - I have had a hectic week and a half

I have managed to post up an advert for The Surat Thani Genki English Seminar - sadly no response as yet but it is early days yet.

I also manage to get ink for my printer and print out a fair proportion of the Flash cards and work sheets for Genki too.

Normally this would be a non event really - Yes there is lots of it but printing is fairly straight forward...   unless your in Thailand.

The events go something like this:
1) Buy Genki English and download.
2) Realise there is loads of material to print out.
3) Try and "sell" the whole Genki Product and concept to Thai work colleagues (in an attempt to get them on board with helping get the stuff printed - (well if not help stop them from being obstructive).
4) Fail miserably at 3) but due to this weird Thai cultural thing that stops Thais from saying what they think or feel if they decide you might find it offensive it is going to offend be completely oblivious to the fact that you have actually upset embarrased and confronted them by making them look bad by not having a work ethic.
5) Get the sack due to 4.
6) Be reinstated but working for another business within the business group ( the Thai way of asking you to move departments).
7) Recover from points 4 to 6 whilst being told by main support that they really dont want you in Thailand anymore. (took ten days out and went sailing. - see post:
8)Return to work and present Genki to school director at small village school.
9) Have employer realise what you have been trying to say for the previous 3 months.
10)Try to look into number of local schools and agencies in preparation to try and set up own agency / Language school.
11) Find printer to print materials ( As scheme now has owner/employers endorsement).
12) Try printer - which is blocked and needs jets cleaning.
13) Get printer working - briefly.
14) Discover lack of Black ink.
15) Spend two days chasing round wrong Thai trying to work out how to acquire new supply of ink only to be obstructed because they couldn't be bothered to explain simple things like where they buy ink from (reality being they don't have money to buy ink so don't want to be embarrassed by not wanting to ask for money).
16) Find right person to get 500 Baht from for ink - who then goes and asks same the self same person in 15 where to get ink from and is told.
17) Spent 2 days trying to get printer to work with out much success until realising tanks need to be vented to avoid vaccuum. (pull out the stopper holders).
18) Start printing!!!!
19) Come back in after finishing work one evening to waste hours trying to work out why a printer wont work when the reason is that some idiot has decided to play a prank and un plug the printers USB data cable on the inside. Go home.
20) Spend another day printing.
21)

In the mean time :
I have been out and test ridden a Ducati - :D - Ridden Chris's SR 400, and come up with a plan to get a decent bike.

I have played with an iguana

A lesson in Patience, build it and they will come.

Patience is a funny thing - you need to learn it , but to learn it you need to have a bit already.  I am surprised when people say I have a lot of patience but I suppose it is a subjective thing really.

This week I have been getting back into the rhythm and flow of work, well I say "back into",  its a new work place, but it feels like "back into" as there are many of the old challenges jobs and plans which are now coming to fruition.

Along with the new start has come a new colleague Mr Todd he is a chilled English and Chinese teacher, I like him he explains a lot about Thai culture but in a way I have never been privileged to before. Mr Todd not only explains his views, perspectives and concerns but also the reasons why he feel things are the way they are.

Some of the points that have come up are

1) Thai attitudes to work - due to having a culture where it, for a long time, has been possible to support your family the whole year by working hard for the 3 months it takes to plant grow and harvest rice. Puts it into context when you think of it that way

2) Thai attitudes towards money and government

3) Why Thais seem to be fixated on mastering English grammar rather than practicing listening and speaking skills

4) Thai attitudes towards Buddhism both as a religion and philosophy

One really intriguing question was asked...
    What is the difference between concentration and meditation ?

I had to stop and think - I then looked them up in a dicitionary ...

concentration  สมาธิ

con·cen·tra·tion

[kon-suhn-trey-shuhn]

noun

1.

the act of concentrating; the state of being concentrated.

2.

exclusive attention to one object; close mental application.

3.

something concentrated: a concentration of stars.

4.

Military .

a.

the assembling of military or naval forces in a particular area in preparation for further operations.

b.

a specified intensity and duration of artillery fire placed on a small area.

5.

the focusing of a student's academic program on advanced study in a specific subject or field.

 ...            and

      

meditation     ฌาน                     

 

med·i·ta·tion

[med-i-tey-shuhn]

noun

1.

the act of meditating.

2.

continued or extended thought; reflection; contemplation.

3.

transcendental meditation.

4.

devout religious contemplation or spiritual introspection.

Origin:
1175–1225;  < Latin meditātiōn-  (stem of meditātiō ) a thinking over (see meditate, -ion); replacing Middle English meditacioun  < Anglo-French  < Latin,  as above


So this was considered and discussed - I 'm not going to give away what my conclusions were but I think it is safe to say meditation depends on concentration where as concentration does not rely on meditation.

 

 

Lets Go Sailing

After a strange stressful week moving from my old work place to a new one I went to the doctors to discover my B.P. had shot up again
So - some R&R was called for

Taking the opportunity and offer I decided to go do my Ocean Hiker Course

Ocean Hiker - Koh Tao

I had 5 days from Mae Haad to Chalock Ban Kao (both onKoh Tao)

 Day 2 was from Koh Tao aiming at TongSala on Koh Phangan but due to drift we ended up in Koh Samui at Nat ton -

Day 3 took us to Koh Phangan - a small bay on the north coast called Chalok Luk where we had some R&R at Omega bar jam night

 Day 4 took us back to Tong Sala

 and day 5 was a brisk choppy crossing back to Mae Haad on Koh Tao - thoroughly enjoyed my self despite two bouts of sea sickness (day 2 and day 5) and look forward to more sailing in future

Finding Things - Epilogue

Since my last post I have had a few... lets just call them events, happen in my life.
I cant call them positive or negative at this time but they have certainly unsettled me

I will write more on this when I have meditated on them and feel I have a good grasp of the implications.

My intention was to follow up the last post soon after with what follows...

Everyday I ride on my scooter and contemplating various things - mostly the scenes and everyday life of Surat Thani waking up each morning - Where I stay the owner has house keepers that do the washing etc etc, This has been fine but occasionally slight irritations happen. When I went on retreat in 2010 I bought a couple of T-Shirts from the Hermitage - One of these has dissapeared in the wash but no real worry - its slogan was "Nature Is My Co-Pilot".

Many people avoid the hustle and bustle of city life seeing it as stressful and unnatural - One morning a concept struck me that had come from reading a comment by Budhassa Bikku about how we should be grateful for the houses and buildings that those that have gone before us have created.
That's when it struck me one nice sunny morning as I was sat in traffic - that nature was indeed my co-pilot, I was sat looking at it all around me - the cars, the buildings and the hairless monkeys that surrounded me playing with their companions and the trinkets and tools their companions had conceived and created

Only those that see their situation as being separate from the whole that we are part of will have issues seeing this view, but then that is their misfortune...


************************************************************
Today is the anniversay of  :       http://vimeo.com/10150048

 
Humbling

The Key to Finding Things Is To Look In The RIght Place

So I woke up nice and early on December 31st 2012 - Showered and shaved and went downstairs for my religious morning coffee. It was semi dark so I am assuming still before 6:00 am or there abouts. Eventually the water boiled and my 3 in 1 coffee was quickly dispatched - I wandered along to Pom's Honda CRV and hopped in without really thinking about what I expected from my days plan.
I pulled out the soi and trundled through town thinking how quiet it was, as I passed one of my favored baton go stands I decided breakfast wouldn't go amiss so parked up at the next reasonable stopping point.
I wandered back to the seller to be greeted with "Set Laew" - finished already so I turned back to the car working out it must be later than I had considered. Difficult to tell on new years eve as the whole town did seem much quieter than usual.
Leaving town I passed the relatively new Central Plaza forgetting to stop and look for  bel paise cheese which was sort of one of the purposes of my trip. About 10 km out of town I stopped for petrol and managed to amuse the filling station staff by pulling up with the filler on the wrong side and then not knowing which grade fuel I wanted - 95 or 91 was barked at me in broken English which seems to be the norm even between Thais. As I walked round the pump attendant gleefully showed me the 91 sticker she had seen inside the filler cap - I was relieved to see it as I wasn't sure if the engine was diesel or not not having driven for a while.

Soon after the petrol station I passed some sort of Thai Jet fighter by the side of the road - Surat Thani Air Wing 7 I think was the sign - I have spotted this a number of times and spent hours trying to find it on google maps only to realise I was much closer to Surat Thani than I had thought. I wondered if I sould stop and take pictures but having left the Camera at home I relaxed and thought about doing it at a later date (M.P.'s willing of course)

The rest of the drive was un eventful and took about an hour as I contemplated what I was going to say to this monk if and when I eventually got to meet him - Last time I had seen him, Dhammavidu was in March 2010 as I left on day 7 of my second 10 day silent retreat.

I had managed to stay there for seven days but had had difficulty settling as it had seemed quite "noisy" with a couple from  Koh Tao sneaking off for late night rendevous and other meditators being quite slovenly plomping them selves down beside you without the slightest concern for any disturbance they might  cause - I had struggled with this matter for 4 or 5 days before leaving but was a little surprised when the Thai monk told me he had seen me in one of the meditation halls ans thought if I carried on as I was he thought I "would end up in a lunatic asylum and probably kill myself ".  I thought he was a few years too late but there we go , I'm still here and haven't been an in patient in any sort of mental health establishment since this meeting. - As I drove I felt quite calm but contemplated why I was going to visit this old man from the UK who had ordained and now taught international students various matters about meditation and the Buddha.

I eventually concluded I would ask him 3 things 1) about how important regular practice was, 2) How I could get involved more with a temple / monk being settled in Surat and not speaking much Thai,
3) What was the actual meaning of the statement - refrain from sexual misconduct

(all these really reveal a lot about my current situation and state of mind but thats what blogs are about isn't it)

If the opportunity came up I would ask him about the statement the Thai monk had made 2  nearly 3 years ago  - I felt calm - relaxed and reasonably content and in the moment.

Getting closer I noticed the egg stalls and found the Hermitage Turning easily enough (even though I still find doing U-turns on a major road a bit unnerving even if they are accepted as legal out her)

Side Road to Suan Mohkk

Arriving at Suan Mohhk has always felt re-assuring to me - The first time my intial retreat it even had a slight feeling of coming home - the peaceful atmosphere there is almost tangible and it is easy to settle back into it. I parked the car up and walked to the main meditation hall - I couldnt help noticing the mess of flip flops and sandals at the entrance to the hall despite the reasonably early hour and apparent small number of people in attendance. I know it is maybe a little smug of me but I couldnt help smiling to myself as my first visit here had made strong impression and one of the most start events was how after few days when people start getting into the retreat this jumbled mess of flip flops seems to dissapear and almost overnight they become a neatly ordered rank and file of resting footware as peoples minds become calmer and focused and mindfuness is applied to simple task like removing ones shoes  - since noticing this I cant help using it as a bit of a barometer here in Thailand - how tidy are the shoes at the door - a heuristic indicator to the state of mind of the visitors.

No sooner I stepped in I was greeted by a middle aged american I didnt recognise - I explained I had been before but couldnt stay for the retreat this time due to work commitments (no point in joining to flunk out on day seven - the thai monk seemed to be quite disapproving last time - so I asked if Victor or Dhammavidu were present so I could talk with them - He pointed in Vernon's direction after correcting my mistake regarding his name and I went to ask where Dhammavidu was.

Vernon recognised me and was warm and welcoming - "Yes Ive seen Dhammavidu coming back from his alms round" I was told, "BUT the question is which of his residences will he be in - he may be up the hill or in his forest kuti". I must of looked puzzled - oh try the one up the hill first then if there is no luck there come back and I will tel you how to find the forest kuti. I set off slightly nervous at the idea of entering a monks "personal" space.

At the base of the hill are concrete steps I quickly climbed the first 20 or so and called out a Hello to try and rouse the owners of the two sets of shoes I had spotted at the entrance - Eventually I was answered but the occupants were new on retreat and had no Idea who Dhammavidu was or where he might be found

As I set off to continue up the hill I noticed the steps were quite uneven and intermittent - the mud was slippy and sticky the climb quite steep and about 80 meters up - I paced myself breathing heavily in the hot humid air, eventually after stopping a number of times I reached a small Kuti that was empty I contemplated the positive heath aspects of doing a climb like this every day and remembered the pace he had kept when I spoke with him on his alms round two years previously. Recovered I set off back down the hill thinking the trip down was more daunting than going up. My sandals got caked in mud so i had to stop once or twice to scrape this off - I arrived at the bottom dripping with sweat feeling quite incongruous with the calm relaxed retreat candidates.

After further instruction from Vernon I headed off to try and find Dhammavidu's forest retreat, wandering past the women's hot spring (out of bounds whilst on retreat)
and beyond the eastern boundaries of the center. This was new territory for me but I felt confident in my quest and walked at a moderate pace enjoying the peace and mild weather.

One of the strange things about Suan Mohk is the feeling of friendliness you get when you meet strangers - even when there is no vow of silence in force people greet each other with a smile and maybe a nod of the head but few words are spoken - unless it is between people sat at one of the springs and even then it is calm and hushed tones that prevail.

I wandered to the limits of the hermitage and came to a gate - a dirt track with another gate opposite - I walked on and eventually found a side path with a concrete bridge over a river. This was very narrow but I was intrigued as it was well worn - I was sure this was the way to the forest kuti - I wandered on till the path branched and followed side paths at random until they petered out when I would trace back my steps and take the other fork.

In the end I found myself at the foot of another steep climb - I decided to go back to the gate and follow the road in the other direction.

This took me across a large clearing in the forest - the sun had started to bite and my guess of the time reminded me of the Flanders and Swann song about mad dogs and englishmen.

I eventually arrived at another gate to another Hermitage - Duta Dharma Hermitage - it is in forest so I went through the open gate and felt very calm and peaceful - This hermitage had a largish dorm which was deserted (apart from 2 pairs of shoes) and passing this you come to another meditation hall - also deserted - further on again is a maze of paths criss crossing the forest with the odd kuti bearing a dedication to some beneficiary or another and often the name of the monk in residence.

I walked and sweated for over an hour but still felt relaxed avoiding paths of ants and trying not to disrupt too many spiders with webs across the paths,
eventually I felt I had exhausted every avenue and headed back - Feeling hot and a little hungry by this time.  I saw Vernon who told me I had been to the right place, and suggested he may be upstairs in the dorm building - I thought for a moment and decided I hadn't really made much noise not wanting to disturb the monks meditation - Vernon told me he thought he wouldn't mind so much - SO I ventured back. This time I explored the dorm building more thoroughly - finding a library with an amusing sign - which I will return to photograph at a later date. I stopped and sat in meditation for 20 minutes or so then headed back

As I wandered I contemplated that this was probably what I needed at that moment - I I had resolved the problems I needed to  and at that moment I bumped in to  Vernon who asked I I had found Dhammavidu - No  - I replied - I think he has turned into light and dissapeared I joked - I went to the hot spring and washed the heat and sweat off my head and arms and sat for 10 minutes with my trousers rolled up enjoying the moment. then I went back to the food hall where retreaters were about to take lunch and I drank some tea

- I will return soon I think and hopefully I will be able to stay for a longer period, take a camera and get some picture - but this time I think I am glad I didnt have a camera as I spent some quality time with just myself and resolved the problems I had allowed my myself to dwell on  - Though I had gone looking for Dhammavidu I realised that I had the solution inside my own head all the time -

"You cant always get what you want"... as the song goes but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.

Obviously I needed a long walk in the Thai forest getting sun burn on my head again,

:)

And a happy new year :)

So 30th of December rolls in with me waking up at Kevin Wrights house on the west side of Surat - a nice evening was had by all and I was reasonably happy having stayed sober all night

It was a bit of a suprise to get a call at 12:00 to ask if I wanted to go to a fellow workers birthday party and could I take my employers husband home in Pom's car - so I duly set off on my mission. I tried stopping in town to get a new hard drive and some sort of birthday gift/card/token but was unsuccessful, my only achievement being getting a soaking from the rain my prcrastinations left me in. Never mind , home showered and ready I waited for 2:30 which was when Pa'Boo turned up - I walked out with him to have someone tell me to just take the keys and set off to his house (via a supermarket where he decided to buy some beer - "No thanks not for me I am driving...")

We waited at Gans house with the family and as we were about to leave , about an hour later I had some food put in front of me which I gratefully ate not having had more than a cup of coffee for breakfast. We called in at Gan's parents house as we headed east out of town , approximately 12 or 15 km later we u-turned and took a side road leading south off of Highway 41. Straight away on arrival the true reason for the invite comes to light - Oh Burns father is selling some land a field and some building plots ... are you interested....

I am / was / will be (when I sort my finances) always nice to know what the going rate is. I hopped into the car that had turned up and we set off. Two pieces of land - one cut up into building plots about 2 rai I think at 2000 gbp a plot i thought it was OK - the other is much bigger 4 rai or about 2 acres - 6m baht or about 120,000 which i thought was OK too - anyone got some spare cash they want to invest?????????????????

So after the tour of the land I got back to Burns for her birthday meal and pondered the options - had a nice chat with her father and some of the other guests. Got back to Surat in time to pop down to Rim Nam and drink a few sods whilst chatting about the previous nights events - Sorry Angie but I had to go home

New years Eve started slowly with an early rise and heading off to Chaiya - I arrived about 9 oclock to be warmly greeted - Then spent 4 hours wandering round looking for a monk that had either seen me coming or had dissapeared into light ;)

So this is Christmas

I have to admit I had high expectations for the end of this year - maybe I am rightly disappointed or then maybe I am still to be rewarded. The end of the Mayan Calendar was for me never going to be another armaggedon end of the world event (though parts of me do think that this may be the only hope for mankind) I always saw it as a potential rallying point for the new era of consciously aware persons to gather and manifest a better world. I suppose the old adage of Rome not being built in a dasy still stands and maybe one day man will look back at 21 12 2012 as being the start of  the changes.

I have seen many theories about the end of the Mayan Cycle - I think the one about calendar manufacturers not making too much stock is the best - this was pointed out to my by friend Ian George  on facebook. Still there is time for change and getting an invite from The Wayseers and their new site might be an opportunity for building on that. Possible a complete waste of time I do feel that this sort of mechanism may be a way forward -

Upriser 

still plenty of time to see how this works out
While I am in this vein I must mention

The Long Now Foundation

 Christmas Day

Started at the temple on Koh tao where the monk spotted the situation I poorly videos below: Still has relevance to a thread that started with some chickens and a frog in Sussex a few years ago.

 This time I intervened and had my finger chewed by the mantis which I suppose saw me as much of a threat as the Cat - and is an explanation of why you can hear me going Owww owwww and why the video got even worse at that statge; fiesty little thing attacking the cat like that I thought - The monk seemed to approve of my actions.

I then went on to have dinner at The Hacienda in the Koh Tao Leisure Park 
see pics on my facebook

Headed back to Surat Thani on the 27th to find that my daughter had decided to say thanks for the card I sent her but then she went on to be incredibly abusive which after years of brain washing by her Mum is not that surprising but a stark reminder of how much work needs to be done by us all before any measure of harmony and peace is truly prevalent in the world

As ever I find it sad that so many places in the world are still precipitating violent destructive judgemental behaviour at so many levels - The individual at the school in America to the so called "States" in the middle east and elsewhere around the world

Hope every one else had a good Xmas and a happy new year to one and all :)

Christ Myth Woman

I've had this file on my desktop for a while - the contents are something I grabbed a while back nothing that important but I thought I might follow it up sometime: That sometime is taday and basically I am going to post it and delete the file cos I want to tidy my desktop:

"Fathers  feel increasingly caught in a vacuum as ancestral habits continue to fall away, and this contributes more and more to the breakdown of masculine identity

Myths reveal to us the basic structures of history; the silence of the father and the suffering of the son have been heralded in the Christian myth.
The central myth that has guided the last two centuries of out evolution is marked to an astonishing degree by the absence of the father"

Yellow

Its 7:57 am – Fathers day – December 5^th 2012 – The Thai King’s birthday – I woke at about 5:20 and had a quick look on the internet to find Schoolshape and looked at their offering then I  finished packing and prepping for this trip. I shaved, showered and  took my tablets and went down stairs to grab the Scoopy key and pop out for breakfast

I try to make sure I get to JWaawaa for  one meal  most days – especially work days, after nearly 4 years of living in Thailand I eventually discover that to tell others I am a vegetarian all I have to do is say “Poom gin Jay”  and they understand. 

I got to the restaurant for about  for  just after 6:00 Baw was there as usual and she served me and I sat down to eat and reflect on the circumstance.  I was a little surprised at how busy the streets were at that time of day though I shouldn’t have been knowing that Thai people wake early to avoid the heat and having seen morning markets in the north on my first visits to the land of smiles, and after all Surat Thani is a market town  or city as they Thais like to call it. As I ate I reflected on how quiet it was and considered my attatchment to the food I was eating – even though It is “meant” to be seen merely as fuel to sustain the body and its pursuit of a spiritually enlightened existence.

I finished went and paid my 35 baht, trying to engage Baw in simple conversation, 1) to help improve my Thai and 2) to try and crack her veneer of detatchment, she is after all an attractive lady and I am very single at the moment.  As I left I decided to stop off at the market and buy the simple pre packed breakfasts from the market to make offerings to the monks.  I find it amusing that  a small cottage industry hasestablished itself at the market – You can pay 20฿ for a set (that may or may not contain meat – You are handed a bag and thurn around and are surrounded by monks offering their alms bowls so that you can pop their daily bread into it to then pop off your shoes kneel in front of them and receive a blessing – It works – I have given up considering the nature of the process and whether the monks should be offered meat or not – In some ways its not important , though I did wonder why these queues weren’t out side the veggie establishment I had just been to.

I hoped back on the scooter and stopped at the baton go street stand 30 yards further on and back on the main drag. Baton Go is one of my weaknesses here foodwise, Essentially they are a Thai style finger shaped  doughnut.  Lightly stuck together with water they are deep fried batter that is cooked in these pairs, lovely with sticky milk though I tend to avoid that now days for the usual health reasons , I sat on the bike and waited for my 10฿ worth of heart attack food , I noticed  the usual sideways glances usually followed by a quick grin as I purposely make eye contact and smile , I may not be the only falang in Surat but we’re certainly still a novelty  in these parts especially in the traditionally Thai public spaces, the markets and day to day meeting places.

I felt quite calm and mindful as I pulled away at a slow pace,  another 100 meters down the road and two kittens play by the side of the road caught my eye , one doing one of those poised pounces on the other as I passed – probably only three months old it flashed across my mind

Thich Nhat Hanh

 talks about a rose

talks about a rose being all the elements that were not rose – I wondered how kittens became so obviously kitten and cat like in their nature so quickly – It is an amazing experience this life that  occupies us all. 

I got back to the house and made a coffee to eat with my cholesterol  pointing out to the Burmese house keeper that I liked my coffee falang style – lots of water in a mug topped up with a bit of cold to stop being scalded and usually black. She passed this on to the other house keeper  obviously amused by my odd behavior.

I finished my breakfast and grabbed my bags to be greeted by Mel who was driving me to the airport, heading out of the town  she reminded me that it was the Kings birthday and explained this was why I had been greeted by a sea of yellow shirts. I joked about how I doubted that any one would wear red shirts on a day like today – referring to the Thai convention of associating seven colours to the days of the week and respect for  the regent being  shown by wearing a coloured shirt that represents the day he was born on. We went through the week  -  Monday  = pink, Tuesday = Yellow, Wednesday =  Green, Thursday = Orange, Friday = Blue, Satuday = Purple and Sunday = Red. My reference to red shirts wasn’t to Sunday though it was to the other political party here in Thailand the red shirts.

So I am finishing of this short  narrative of my morning on the flight, BRIGHT RED air asia  BIG BIG BIG – I arrive in BKK at 10:00 am and will finish and post on the blog when I get to an internet connection

Bing bong – seat belt sign comes on so  I try to save the document to PC the Laptop away locked keyboard, I try to save bit never mind – put it to sleep and put it away the plane is landing – And then it all starts to go “wrong”.

Some guy is pushing to get off the plane, I follow the signs to the wrong baggage belt, I get a taxi easy enough but then I cant remember the name of the building … its close to Asoke BTS -  The taxi driver is particularly friendly as we travel in he chats in his broken English and I chat in my broken Thai mostly about the Kings birthday (of  course) Then as we get to Asoke station he slows and  blap.. there it is its Supalai Plaza I’m going to

I pay the fare and tip 50฿ and get ushered straight into the lift – I don’t know which floor I’m going to… I find my phone and type in the number I’ve been given  no answer

Eventually this got resolved after phoning friends in Thailand in different places but I had started to wonder if there was some tradition in Thailand not to answer your phone on Kings Day